Once upon a time, a wolf became very hungry and went out to look for his dinner. After a while, he saw a ram eating in a field. He went up to the ram and said, “Mr. Ram, I’m going to eat you!” But the ram replied, “Who are you, I would like to know, before you eat me?”
“I am a wolf, and I’m looking for a delicious dinner,” said the wolf. “What kind of wolf do you think you are?” replied the ram, “you’re not a wolf, you’re a dog!” – “No, I’m not a dog,” said the wolf, “I’m a wolf.” – “Well,” answered the ram, “if you’re really a wolf, stand at the bottom of the hill with your mouth wide open. Then I’ll run down the hill and jump straight into your mouth.” – “Alright,” said the wolf.
So he stood at the bottom of the hill with his mouth wide open, while the ram climbed to the top of the hill. Then the ram ran down the hill very fast and hit the wolf as hard as he could with his horns.
The wolf tumbled over and became unconscious from the blow, while the ram ran home. And there lay the wolf, until he finally regained consciousness, with pain in all his bones.
“Well, what a fool I am!” cried the wolf. “Who has ever seen a ram willingly jump into the mouth of a wolf?”
Then he continued on, just as hungry as before, and after a while, he saw a horse grazing in a field.
So he went up to him and said, “Mr. Horse, I’m going to eat you!” But the horse replied, “Who are you, I would like to know before you eat me.” – “I am a wolf!” “Think again,” replied the horse, “you’re just a dog!” – “No, I’m not a dog,” he said, “I’m a wolf.” – “Oh, if you’re sure you’re a wolf, that’s fine. I’m not very fat yet, so you better start at my tail, and in the meantime, I’ll nibble some more grass and get a little fatter.”
So the wolf went up behind the horse and was just about to start at his tail, when the horse kicked the wolf as hard as he could with his hind legs! The wolf tumbled over, while the horse ran away.
And there sat the wolf, thinking to himself, “Well, what a fool I am! Who has ever heard of anyone eating a horse and starting at the tail?”
And so he wandered on, when he later saw a pig coming towards him. The wolf said, “Mr. Pig, I’m going to eat you!” But the pig replied, “Who are you, I would like to know before you eat me?” – “I am a wolf.” – “You’re a strange kind of wolf,” replied the pig, “you’re really just a dog!” – “No, I’m not a dog,” he said, “I’m a wolf!” – “Oh, well that’s okay,” replied the pig, “just get on my back. I’ll give you a ride, and then you can eat me afterwards.”
So the wolf got on the pig’s back, and lo and behold, the pig carried him straight into the village.
There, all the dogs ran out, went after the wolf, and began to tease him.
And they teased him so much that the only thing he could do was break free and run back into the forest.
Credits
Valery Carrick was a British-Russian artist and author born in 1869, best known for his illustrated collections of Russian folktales retold for children. This story carries the hallmarks of traditional Russian animal fables — repetition, comic escalation, and a fool who never learns — adapted in Carrick's characteristically warm and playful style.
